


here comes the breath

by justsomerain



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Female Homosexuality, Friends to Lovers, Pre-The Wrong Jedi, harold...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-09-02 11:30:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8665945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsomerain/pseuds/justsomerain
Summary: Friendship is a difficult thing when you're not sure if you don't actually want more but you can't look into those feelings because you're taught that attachment is forbidden.





	

Barriss had been her friend, surviving long long hours in a tank under siege by droids had been a bonding experience, after all, and they were just that, she had thought, even if Ahsoka wasn’t entirely sure if her feelings for the Miralian Padawan had been entirely friendly. She had never really thought about it, not for lack of wanting to, but rather because she was pretty sure that if she thought too deeply about it she would find that whatever it was she felt for her, it was probably forbidden by the Order, with rules against attachment forbidding any type of relationship that may be slightly more than friendly.

And so they had been friends, and Ahsoka hadn’t questioned it, because she didn’t want to have to question herself and her dedication to rules she had been taught from toddler on, rules she had lived by for her entire life.

That was, until one night when they had been sat in Barriss room, both of them on Coruscant at the same time purely by coincidence. It was rare that you were in the temple at the same time as people you considered friends, all Jedi who could be spared sent out to planets to lend their aid, on warships and Star Destroyers, out to fight the Separatists in whatever way they could, and so they had agreed to meet to catch up with the latest news from both their adventures.

It was later than Ahsoka thought was entirely wise, but it had been… She wasn’t sure what to call it. It was nice. She had had a cup of caff, and Barriss a cup of tarine tea, half forgotten as she spoke, and Ahsoka had laughed, until Barriss had taken off the hood that usually kept her hair contained, and Ahsoka had fallen silent, ever so slightly. She had reached out, playful, grinning, making a joke about Barriss never letting her hair down, and despite the gesture being a joke at first she had ended up trying her hand at braiding as Barriss relaxed in front of her, sat on the ground, and she on Barriss’ bed, legs crossed and hands busy, mind focused on the texture and the feeling of Barriss’ hair in her hands.

She had not been a great talent at it, unfamiliar with hair, but was always interested in it, the various looks and textures species with hair on their heads wore it in, and it was only by the grace of Barriss’ hair being fine and straight that it hadn’t ended in a terrible tangle. So instead, braiding left for what it was, Ahsoka had ended up just softly running Barriss’ hair through her fingers, testing the texture in her fingers, memorising it, fingertips ghosting over Barriss’ scalp, who had seemed to relax completely under her ministrations, all the tension she usually held let go for once.

This was something clandestine, and she was certain that if others knew about it, if Anakin had known about it, he would have chastised her, maybe, maybe not. But she knew that this was probably not what was meant with vows about caring for people but not forming attachments, and a knot of tension had formed in the pit of her stomach, not unpleasant, but the way it did before a great battle, in preparation of adrenaline, of fight or flight.

Finally her hands had stilled, the room quiet, only the sound of both of them breathing, and she could almost hear her heart beating, neither of them stirring for a very long moment.

When Barriss had moved it had been to turn, rising to her knees, slowly leaning in towards Ahsoka, pressing a light kiss to her lips, green skin against orange. It had lasted only a moment, and when Barriss pulled back she had looked embarrassed, the skin underneath her tattoos darkening, eyes darting away, and Ahsoka hadn’t been sure how to react, breathless, caught unawares.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have— Well. What’s done is done.”

She had said it so matter of factly that for a moment Ahsoka feared that she may have done something wrong, but then Barriss had smiled at her and everything had felt right. She stumbled over her words, not even sure what you said at a moment like this. There were a thousand things spinning through her head as Barriss looked at her and then away, eyes still darting, one thought returning over and over again, until she swallowed, smiling back.

Ahsoka had moved forward, before running one hand through Barriss’ hair, moving in to close the distance between the two of them, Barriss stiff for a moment, like she was sure she had been moments before, but relaxing the moment their lips touched.

When they finally broke the kiss, Ahsoka smiled at Barriss, relieved to see it returned. She may not have made the first move, but it seemed as if Barriss didn’t regret it.

“What’s done is done.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Closer by Tegan & Sara


End file.
